Sonntag, 21. Juni 2009

Michael Mittermeier

Enjoy one of my fav. comedians with (bad) english subtitles. I love him, he's a freakin' genius.

Dienstag, 16. Juni 2009

I love those books...

Janet Evanovich is my fav. writer. Her books always make me laugh. *rofl* - litteratly =]

'I got a high skill level,' Lula said. 'I just shot a rat off a rafter.'
'You weren't aiming for it.'
'Yeah. My skill level is so high I do things I don't even try to do.'

'I gotta get me a pair of those,'she said, eyeballing my shorts. 'I've still got pretty good legs, you know.'
Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. She'd been a beauty in her time, but the years has turned her slack-skinned and spindle-bones. Still, if she wanted to wear biker shorts, I thought she should go for it.

'Thirty years old and you're still dressing in those teeny-bopper outfits. How will you ever catch a nice man like that?'
'I don't want a man. I had one, and I didn't like it.'

I left turned up North Clinton, and the phone chirped.
It was Morelli, and he didn't sound happy. 'What the fuck do you think you're doing?' he yelled.
'I'm taking Mr. Sampson to the police station. You're more than welcome to follow us. It would make everything much easier for me.'
a pretty ballsy reply, considering I was having an anxiety attack.
'Mmmm. Well, I've commandeered it.'

'They told me there was a pain in the ass out here.'
'That would be me,' I said.
'What's with the sleeping beauty?'
'He's FTA (a person who 'failed to appear' at court date).'
Carl came in for a closer look. 'Is he dead?'
'I don't think so.'
'He smells dead.'

I stumbled forward, slamming into the wall of Morelli's chest.
'Looking for me?' he asked.
'You might as well give up,'I told him, 'because I never will.'
The line of his mouth tightened. 'Tell me about it. Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car... just for old times. Would you like that? Do you get your money dead or alive?'
'No reason to get testy about it. I have a job to do. It's nothing personal.'
'Nothing peronal? You've harassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you, the bounty hunter from hell?"
'You're overwrought.'

Ranger thanked Vanessa. Told her how he appreciated her help. Anytime, Vanessa said. And if he ever needed a room, or for that matter, if he ever needed anything at all... anything, he should remember about her. Ranger assured Vanessa she was unforgettable, and we left on that note.
'Boy,' I said when we were out on the street. 'Mr Charm.'
'In sweats too,' he said. 'You should see me work my magic on leather.'