Two men John and Carl meet at a pub, both of them are married.
After some time John looks at his watch and tells Carl nervously, "Oh no! It's past midnight! My wife's gonna kill me! Everytime I come home late I try to be as quiet as possible because I don't wanna wake her up. I'll park my car to houses away, I'll close the door very carefully, I won't even go to the restroom, because the toilet flush would wake her. But still, she wakes up every time and my life a living hell."
Carl smiles, drinks up and then says, "John, you're doing it wrong. When I come home late I drift into my garage. I slam the door, I go for a piss and when I enter the bedroom I yell, "Babe, I wanna sleep with you right now!" ... And all I hear is *enter snoring sound here*"
Yes it's lame. Thank you.